The Essentials of Touch

As a massage therapist, my life is pretty much immersed in touch. I have come to find that when I go on vacation, I begin to feel out of sorts after a few days of not working because the act of touching another person is so grounding to me. I am also the mother of a small child and we constantly touch and hold one another. My son is always in my lap or in my arms. Funny, then how easy it can be to lose track of making sure my husband and I touch each other enough. I hug him all the time and we kiss and the like, he gets regular massage from me (though not as regular as he'd like, to be sure) but it can be hard in the bustle of taking care of everyday business to carve out time to snuggle, to just be close for a prolonged period.
Touch is such an important mode of communication, such a quick, easy way to say more than words ever could. It is a fundamental method of reconnection and yet, our culture is very uneasy about the simple, animal grace of it. Many people confuse the sensual with the sexual and therefore expect reconnecting touch to amount to an erotic invitation. While that has its own virtues, to be sure, touching someone you love in a way that demands nothing in return, simply touching them for the pleasure and the closeness that it brings has a deeply grounding and rejuvenating effect on the relationship and the people in it.
Now, that said, there is an art to touching well. The mysterious quality that we seek has been called by some "essential touch". This is a way of putting your attention and intention into the point of contact so that the person receiving the touch feels well and fully met. Essential touch is also listening touch. The person giving the contact is receptive and open to the person being touched. This establishes a non-verbal line of communication between the two people through which volumes of information can flow in seconds, information that may be so subtle as to imbue a feeling rather than a conscious thought.
Massage is essential touch with a purpose. In addition to the simple pleasure of meeting well, skin to skin, the person giving a massage is attempting to alleviate tension or pain in the receiver. This adds another dimension of complexity to the contact. If there's one complaint I hear the most about receiving uneducated touch from a loved one, it basically boils down to a lack of that listening quality to the contact. People complain that someone's touch is "poky", too hard or even too light. Understanding how to bring a listening quality into your hands when exploring the areas of tension in another body is something that can be taught. I find that when I teach Couple's Massage, that is really what people are looking for. How can I touch my loved one like they want to be touched and how can I do it without hurting my body? This question is probably the best reason to take a couple's massage class. When you create the space and time for it, it is easy to be extremely creative in how you choose to massage a loved one. Doing this in a way that is consistently pleasurable, understanding how to change your contact if requested and understanding how to take care of your own body as you do this all require professional guidance for most of us.
Setting aside time for essential touch with your loved one is one of the great joys in life. As we move into this Valentine's season, consider treating your sweetheart to a massage from you. A Couples Massage class is a great way to get started on the ritual of sharing essential, sensual, giving touch. More importantly, remember that showing your partner how much you love them is best done daily and needn't require a holiday for an excuse. Remember to steal some moments every day for that closeness that essential touch brings. Touch each other often and well!

Yoga: A Path to Healing

Yoga has been a part of my life since elementary school when I would watch the PBS show in the mornings and follow along.  Since then I have had an on again off again practice spanning 30 years and have gained two certifications, one in Kundalini yoga and one in Hatha yoga.  When I became a massage therapist, as I began to understand the relationship between bad posture, destructive movement habits and pain I looked for ways to teach my clients how to move in a way that was more supportive of their health.   It was a natural fit to begin teaching yoga to my clients to support the structurally oriented work we were doing together.  

In October of 2000 I was to have an opportunity to experience the healing benefits of yoga in a way I had never anticipated.  A car accident left me with whiplash and a herniated disc in my already vulnerable lumbar spine.  I was in great pain and had lost strength in my hands and legs.  Numbness and tingling accompanied by sharp, shooting pain severely limited my activity.  I couldn't stand, walk, sit or even sleep for long without demoralizing pain.  Chiropractic and massage therapy helped relieve my symptoms temporarily but it always came back.  I began doing research into MacKenzie exercises that physical therapists sometimes prescribe to their patients.  I was shocked to find that they were essentially yoga postures that I had been doing for much of my life.  I began a daily practice of these particular postures and reached a point that when the pain and tingling became distracting, wherever I was I got down on the floor and did my yoga.  Fortunately, when you work in a massage school no one thinks anything of the teacher spontaneously moving into asanas!  As time went on, the pain centralized so I no longer felt it down my leg and eventually it left me completely.  

This was a powerful lesson.  First, to viscerally understand the psychological as well as physical impact of chronic pain really deepened my compassion for my clients who live with their pain day in and day out, in some cases for years.  Second, it was exciting and humbling to discover that while bodywork was indeed helpful, the most powerful healing tool I had at my disposal was a daily practice of yoga.  I began to think of yoga as much more than a way to exercise, relax or even as a moving meditation.  It dawned on me that it was also powerful medicine.  

Yoga has been a part of my life since I was in elementary school.  I have had an in

Therapist, Care for Thyself

In preparing for my latest workshop, TLC Massage Therapist Retreat, I've been pondering my own relationship with self care. Something I have observed in myself and other therapists is that we are very adept at caring for others but have a tendency to ignore our own needs. One perspective that I have used to keep myself mindful of my own needs and on the straight and narrow as far as doing what I know I should is to recall what my stage movement professor at U of H said. "Your body is your instrument and you must care for that instrument so that it will be there for you." This is just as true of massage therapists as it is for performers.

For performers, he meant receiving bodywork. Ironically, that is what led me to my true love, massage therapy. For massage therapists, that does mean receiving bodywork but it also involves the daily habits of caring for our bodies - diet, exercise, etc. - and specifically caring for our hands. So many careers in body work have been shortened by poor biomechanics and hand care. It can be difficult to remember to take the time to do a few simple stretches between clients or to use a different tool (fingers, supported knuckle) when your thumbs are feeling worn out but these are the things that mark the difference between a career in massage that lasts 10 years and a career that lasts a lifetime.

In the Massage Therapist Retreat, I intend to explore simple solutions to the biomechanical problems that plague our profession. One thing I have learned in offering home programs to my clients is that if a program is too complex or takes too long, folks just won't do it. I'm no different. So I hope to send people home with some ideas for a short routine they can do between clients. One of the benefits of being a massage therapist is that we know all sorts of wonderful tricks to relieve muscle pain like hydrotherapy and massage itself. I frequently laugh at myself when I realize I could be using these things on myself but haven't! This workshop will explore how we can use the tools of our trade for our own benefit. We will play with hydrotherapy, self massage and, of course, a massage routine for arms and hands that can be used with other therapists or on clients.

Throughout my career, each time I've sustained an injury it has been almost like gaining a new specialty. I have shared the methods that assisted my recovery with my clients with great confidence because I know how effective they are. The ergonomics of massage therapy leave us vulnerable to many of the same repetitive use injuries that people who work with computers fall prey to. Our explorations of self care offer us the opportunity to help our clients in their own search for wellness. They look to us not only as facilitators of their own healing but as examples for healthy living. So take care of yourself!